{"product_id":"cinder-lol-the-totally-true-but-also-kinda-made-up-story-of-cinderella","title":"Cinder-LOL The totally true but also kinda made up story of Cinderella","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIn Which We Promise Not to Take Ourselves Seriously\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnce upon a time — which, according to my research, was sometime between \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003emedieval famine” and \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003ethe invention of pants with pockets” — there lived a young woman named Cinderella.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003ere expecting the usual tale of grace, elegance, and magical romance, I regret to inform you that you\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003eve picked up the wrong book. This is not the story you tell your children before bed, unless your goal is to have them stay up all night giggling about raccoon-driven carriages and fairy godmothers who probably shouldn\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003et be allowed near an open flame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur Cinderella didn\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003et sing to bluebirds in perfect harmony. She didn\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003et glide through life in shimmering gowns. No, she tripped over laundry baskets, argued with brooms, and once accidentally dusted herself into a corner for three hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHer evil stepmother? Less \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003edramatic villain” and more \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003ebudget hotel manager” — always checking chores, always finding something that \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003ewasn\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003et quite clean enough,” always calling her \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003eCindy” in that passive-aggressive tone that made Cinderella\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003es eye twitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the famous ball? Oh, we\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003ell get there. But let me warn you: it\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003es less \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003eromantic waltz under the chandeliers” and more \u003cspan\u003e“\u003c\/span\u003emiddle school dance with better catering.” The prince was charming, sure… if you like men who talk too much about their sword collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo buckle in, dear reader. This is Cinderella as it really happened — the unpolished, occasionally questionable, but always hilarious truth.\u003cbr\u003eA tale of dust, questionable fashion, awkward social encounters, and the kind of love story where both parties pretend they didn\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003et notice the spinach in each other\u003cspan\u003e’\u003c\/span\u003es teeth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you laugh, wonderful. If you snort, even better. If you fall out of your chair — please sign a waiver before reading Chapter Three.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MidSouth Gifts","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48625984078079,"sku":null,"price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0817\/2145\/8943\/files\/jpegcovercinder-lol.jpg?v=1780497451","url":"https:\/\/midsouthgifts.com\/products\/cinder-lol-the-totally-true-but-also-kinda-made-up-story-of-cinderella","provider":"MidSouth Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}